It appears I am quite boring, and will talk about the weather and my chickens and my cooking habits

I am going to complain about the cold for the entire winter. I really am. Tomorrow night they are forecasting 7 degrees Fahrenheit.....We were enchanted by our home, in this little art district. Its exposed brick wall and old windows being so full of character. Exposed brick walls mean it will be cold in winter and hot in summer. That 'living in an oven' effect is, unfortunately, not in effect in the winter. We are all wearing a sweatshirts and sleeping under an extra blanket. And 7 degrees is under my limit I set for my chickens. I don't think they will stress too much if I bring them inside and put them in a giant dog crate with some hay, and throw a blanket over the whole set up to let them know it is time to sleep. I can't leave them outside, not in their state of undress. Feathers are everywhere, the quills being all they have to keep them warm. 

It has been recommended by one of Mr. Parker's coworkers that I sell my baked goods. Ah, it was the bread that did it. Sometimes, my bread turns out awful, sometimes it's near perfect. I cannot figure out what it is I am doing wrong when the brad turns out not quite so great, or what it is that makes it turn out to the satisfaction of the family. When even my 'selective eater' enjoys it, I know it's a success. Anyway, this time, it was a success, I am flattered he had such a high opinion of it, since he likes to cook, too. 

I am not an orderly cook, nor do I follow recipes. Except for baked goods. Sometimes, though, I do experiment with muffins and cookies, the sweet stuff. But never the bread, unless I switch up herbs or something. 

When I cook other things, I look at what sort of seasonings are meant to be used in that particular cuisine, and then just wing it. Almost always, the food is delicious. When asked for the recipe, I can tell the person what I put into it, but never how much. So there they are, wanting to make something I have made, and I am all JUST THROW (insert list here) INTO A POT AND COOK IT UP! It's also a problem when my kids really love something I made and I cannot, no matter how hard I try, duplicate it exactly the way it was. If I were not so lazy, I would take notes as I cooked. 

I am lazy though, and I've never been able to make some dishes again. Once, I made the most fantastic spaghetti sauce I'd ever had in my life. I went out to my garden, tons of things were ready to be picked. I brought tons of stuff inside...washed it, peeled it, diced it, sauteed some stuff, then simmered it all together. At the end of the cooking, I threw in a bunch of chopped fresh herbs from the garden. Some of them, I don't even know what they were (I am not so good at labeling what I plant, overconfident in my herb identification skills at the start of spring)......So there was a perfect, quick spaghetti sauce I will never have again. I think a lot of the deliciousness came from everything being fresh picked, but I wonder at the combination/ratio of herbs and the ratio of tomatoes to onions to zucchini to eggplant to whatever else was in that pot. Haphazardness!

A myriad of things, nothing special, though

Yesterday I went with a friend to buy chicken stuff, the straw and feed and cracked corn. The chickens are not wanting to come out of their coop at all. When I went to give them food and water this morning, I see that I have not one, but TWO that are molting. I'm concerned about them especially because of the single digit temperatures forecast. It's not a hard molt (meaning they lose all of their feathers), but STILL. I am reminding myself that these are chicken bred to be in the cold, they come from a region that gets colder than it ever does here, and they are FINE because I went in the coop and it was a very noticeable temperature difference than outside.  I am changing frozen water two or three times a day, giving them extra protein rich food, and lots of extra bedding. I am fighting my urge to bring them inside every night. I know doing that does them no favors at all. 

We went to check out the Christmas shop for ideas of things to make, and then the open air market where they sell a ton of home made candies, cookies, cakes, soup mixes, jams & jellies, tons of stuff. I never take anything home from there, but I do like to look for ideas. I'm regretting not having taken my camera. Everywhere I go, I should take that thing with

My job is to go through a ton of really REALLY old files, find the important stuff, and bring it down from the 3rd floor to be properly filed away. I am filling a 55 gallon barrel almost every day with things that are no longer needed. I am finding things that should have been put in the safe YEARS AGO but never were. I am also finding things that are things I want to bring home. Metal file boxes meant for various sizes of index cards in a variety of colors, file trays for desktop use, Rolodexes, organizing trays, all in a variety of 1970ish colors. Also, a HUGE amount of canvas, coated and ready to be put through an inkjet printer. Or painted on, depending on the day I guess. They're all samples, coated with discontinued formulas, so they are useless to the company at this point. Also, the vintage office accessories are going to be coming home with me. Because they are AWESOME and will fit perfectly with my home office space. 

Tomorrow will be insanely busy, a doctor's appointment, bread baking (banana and pumpkin), cookie baking....I know that I will need a lot of coffee tomorrow. I want to make red velvet cookies, I have never made them before and need a good recipe. Those will go to work with me. There are a lot of people I am baking for this year, and I found a bunch of packaging ideas here. Adorable stuff! 

My hair was waist length, thick, and curly. It hasn't been cut in a while, and I was ready to take a bunch of it off. What happens is, I am a busy person. My hair is often just an in the way kind of thing and I don't like to spend time on it. Unless I am going somewhere nice, I won't. It gets wrapped up in a bun. It is coarse and curly and takes more time and effort than I am willing to spend on it. So today, I decided to cut it. It was time, and I am trying to make it a little easier to deal with. I have no idea WHY I was letting it grow so long, anyway. I washed and conditioned it, combed it all to the top of my head and put it in a ponytail. Then I cut straight across the end of that ponytail. My first and second cuts didn't get rid of quite enough length for me, so I did it a third time and it was just right. I am never paying for a haircut again. If I had super straight hair, I would probably not recommend doing it this way, but the curly hair? It is super forgiving. 

It is too cold NOW, but I have a ton of knit pieces that really need to go up. I am thinking about taking a hiatus from yarn bombing until spring, and just spend the winter knitting. Also, I am thinking that I want to put stuff up in completely different places. I have spent so much effort on a particular street in my neighborhood which is where EVERYONE goes, but I think somewhere else would be a good idea. Like I said , I really think I would like to spread it around a little bit. That one particular street has become something I care far less about than I used to. There are a few other places I would like to do, like the daycare center down the street, or even something downtown. Although if downtown, it would not stay up for long.....

Really awesome stuff happened today, also a sad thing

I woke up in one of those OHMAHGAWD I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO TODAY moods in which I dread EVERYthing. Sometimes, taking care of all these pets is exhausting. But always worth it, always always always. It was a very no bullshit kind of work day, lots of shopping and cleaning and cooking and maintaining. But when I get started, and seeing the accomplishment, I start feeling pretty damn cheerful.

I tended the chickens, at the same time I shared some Fritos with my kid. Two of the chickens were clucking at me the whole time to just give them some chips already. I did let them try them, even though they are not healthy, but just a little bit since it delights me so much to have them eat out of my hand.

I made a batch of dog food. I noticed some changes in all three of my dogs since I started feeding them human quality food. My senior dog is more energetic. They all are, but the difference in her is really something. Shinier coats, healthier teeth, and I feed them less. I'm not sure if I'm actually saving money, but I'm pretty sure they are healthier. I don't have to worry so much about recalls on dog foods, treats, or anything like that. I make their food, once a week, and store some in the fridge and some in the freezer. Their treat are organ meats and dehydrated fruits and veggies. No chemicals, no preservatives, it is an awesome thing indeed.

Finn, born on Halloween.

So Finn was born with a deformity. Being short on funds, and feeling that a veterinary evaluation was imperative, I started begging people for money to help out. He was born to a rescued stray, after all. People were happy to chip in. I began corresponding with some people at a kind-of local veterinary college. "Nothing we can do, needs x-rays", and then a veterinary clinic, which advised me to euthanize the little guy. Mama did not reject him, and he was larger and stronger than the rest of the little. He was nursing well, and lovable. I thought euthanizing was not an option. All the creatures have value. People use special needs pets as therapy pets for special needs people, he is still loving and worthy of love. So I kept on collecting. I noticed though, that his legs seemed to be self correcting. And today, I was able to return every cent given to me for his vet care. His little legs are almost all the way straight. They may always be a little wonky, but they are nowhere near what they were. I am super happy. I thought I would have to enlist a friend to build a wheeled cart for him, I thought no one would want him, I was really worried about all the problems he would have as he grew older, and my heart was breaking. But now! Amazing progress. I didn't take a picture though. Maybe over the weekend.

Sometimes I am disappointed in people as a whole. I am poor. I really am. We scrape by, and do the best we can. We rarely buy new things, I am super thrifty. I refuse to allow our financial disadvantages to define us, to limit us any more than necessary. It's a hard thing, but money is just money. I recognize that while we are in dire financial straits NOW, it is not a permanent thing. While we are not able to eat out, and every penny counts and there is no carelessness with money, we have a roof over our heads, functioning utilities, food to eat. We are OKAY. We are, in many ways, thriving because of it. Building character, learning new things. If we had loads of money, would I know anything about baking? gardening? chicken keeping? cooking from scratch? Would I be as strong as I am now? No.

*Disclaimer: I am so not being sanctimonious. I am just sharing.

ANYWAY, I was with my 5 year old, we had just gone to the Redbox to rent a movie, when I decided to stop in at the store to see about some new kitchen utensils. Rubber spatulas or something, you know. My stuff is getting worn down, I wanted to replace some stuff. There was a man standing outside the door, holding a sign that said "Please help. I am homeless and hungry". He asked me for money, but I didn't have any. "Do you want something to eat?" His eyes watered and he nodded. So I went in, and customers were complaining about him asking for money. They wanted him to go. And I thought, how sad it would be, to need something as simple as food, and have people just HATE you for it. To have them want you to GO AWAY.  People were just SO ANGRY I couldn't believe it. It made me so angry at them. Because here is this man, not dressed appropriately for the cold snap that is coming in tonight, just needing FOOD.

I bought him three big cans of soup, a box of crackers, some apples, and a spoon. Because I have, and he does not. As limited as my income is, I can find a way to share. There is food in my house, I cooked a beautiful meal for my family. I have a roof over my head, and electricity and warm blankets and food and everything I NEED. I didn't buy anything else. I left the kitchen utensils there, because what I have may not be pretty but it serves its purpose.

As I was being rung up, a male employee said "Imma tell that mothafucka to go on" and he walked to the door.

I think of the time in my life I have been $5 away from begging. And how hard it was for me to realize that had certain people not been in my life at that time, I would have been out on the streets, with kids. It is a long, sad story I will maybe tell later. "Hey! Where are YOU going when you get off of work? From your PAYING job? HOME? Are you going HOME? What did you EAT today? You can leave him the fuck alone." That's what I said to him. And he, in that haughty, superior way young men have, rolled his eyes at me.

A female customer became confrontational. "Oh, are you OFFENDED because I complained about him being out there begging? It's unappropriate. I got KIDS." (She said 'unappropriate'. I said O.o)  As if having kids does not allow you to care for anyone else, as if you must only think of them and no one else, no matter what. "I really don't give a shit what you say. I don't care what you THINK. I'm pretty sure he's hungry enough to not really be worried about whether or not something is APPROPRIATE. And you know what? I hope no one treats you the way you treated him."

I argue endlessly with a friend of mine who thinks one should never give to someone begging. It's HIS hard earned money, he is not giving it away to someone BEGGING. But just because someone is begging does not mean they are worth less. WHY are they begging? We don't know. Mentally ill and homeless (most are), a drug addict run out of money (a possibility), we don't know. So maybe, we can just err on the side of compassion. Maybe not give money, maybe ask them if you can buy them something to eat. And then you did the right thing, because who cares if they are doing the right thing or not. It's not about them, whether you choose to share or not. It's about YOU. Who YOU are, and whether or not you let the world change you.

He took the bag, and walked away, without a word.

On the Garden, Thoughts On Next Year

2013 Tomatoes

The final fall clean up of the garden has been done. I pretty much have a clean slate for next year. NEXT YEAR I will have plans and won't cram so much stuff into such a small space. I stand on the balcony and look at the yard, and think about what will go where. I know what I want, but it's maybe more than I have room for. I will have a garden journal. That's important. I need to know what's where. I was frustrated by a particular tomato plant all summer, and almost too late realized those tomatoes were supposed to stay green because they were the Granny Smith tomatoes I had been gifted. Things need to be accessible, because so much of the garden turned into a great big mass of growing things and I sometimes had a hard time finding stuff.

I'd like to preserve things next year, can tomatoes and stuff. If I can get things going well enough, it would be nice to have some to sell, too. There are restaurants around here that buy stuff grown by people locally. I sold some of my sun chokes for $5 a pound to the bakery that does Saturday brunch. THAT made me happy. But mostly, I want to be able to preserve things. I had the very best of intentions at the beginning of the gardening season, but I didn't get the yield I wanted, I lost my motivation, I had bug problems. I meant to freeze all of those herbs, but then things got really hectic with working 12 hours a day for 4 days and when I went to harvest, everything had gone to seed. So, you know, I must plan better, do what I can when I can. Pay more attention to things. 

 Now that there is nothing left growing, I feel anxious for the spring to get here, so I can fill the little pots with dirt and start the seeds. I liked working outside, pulling weeds and growing things and the feeling that I had after being outside all day, working in the dirt, seeing the insects that had taken up residence among my plants. I loved to go outside and pick vegetables and realize that night we would not need anything from the store. That everything I put on the table came from my very own back yard. And the herbal teas, made from raspberry and blackberry leaves and the mints I grew myself, that was lovely. So already, I am looking forward to spring.